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I’ve gotten a lot of fan mail asking me to continue defiling the Disney Princesses in the C.A.B.ified Classics series… well I guess that's exactly what I’ve done here to the titular character of Disney’s 1995 Pocahontas. I think I saw the film. I’m pretty sure I did. I think I was impressed by the art direction and sweeping background vistas. But that was it. And unlike The Little Mermaid (which I’ve mentioned that I think is the perfect Disney film) Pocahontas was dry as a bone, and put me to sleep within 15 minutes or so. Don’t know… maybe the film was too constricted by overt political correctness and maudlin to be irreverent and entertaining. A yawn fest.
But here in the studded leather fetishy corners of my mind in C.A.B.ified Classics, we fix that. We take that little deerskin hottie and overlay some probable improbable historical behavior on the attitudes of the times. Pokie and her two jiggly canoes wind up in the Jamestown public stocks and Governor Ratcliffe himself spends a little quality time getting to know the perfidious native girl. ...Voilà! Film improved.
Life is good.
~ C.A.B.
* See all the C.A.B.ified Classics series HERE!
But here in the studded leather fetishy corners of my mind in C.A.B.ified Classics, we fix that. We take that little deerskin hottie and overlay some probable improbable historical behavior on the attitudes of the times. Pokie and her two jiggly canoes wind up in the Jamestown public stocks and Governor Ratcliffe himself spends a little quality time getting to know the perfidious native girl. ...Voilà! Film improved.
Life is good.
~ C.A.B.
* See all the C.A.B.ified Classics series HERE!
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Absolutely amazing and easily one of my all-time favorite C.A.B.ified Classics!
Either way, I hope I see something like this a bit more often.
And dig, boys, into those soles
Grab a pick, boys
Tickle, boys...
Shakin and squirming
She'll beg while those lovely
Tears sparkle and shine
Anyway, there's a couple of thigs I especially like in that pic: 1) the wiggling 2) the jiggling 3) governor's relaxed, sadistic tickler's demeanor, which reminds a lot of Bluto's tcilking of Olive Oyl. Again, great stuff!
But you made a great work here whit Pocahontas! Congratulations.